The World Isn't Likely to End in 2012...

There is a kind of inexplicable joy involved in spending the day void of the pressures of life, to watch your loved ones smile with amazement as they tear wrapping paper and enjoy good cooking..life somehow seems less than demanding on Christmas..it is as if everything stops and worries take a back seat and you find that happiness, that peaceful place we try all year to reach..in reflection and with just the right amount of gratitude I welcome the new year and all that lies ahead...there is nothing quite like resting your head on your pillow at night knowing you are amongst people that love you..the world is hard enough out there and if anything the holidays have made me fully appreciate what it means to be home..

“Let us toast to animal pleasures, to escapism, to rain on the roof and instant coffee, to unemployment insurance and library cards, to absinthe and good-hearted landlords, to music and warm bodies and contraceptives... and to the "good life", whatever it is and wherever it happens to be.”
― Hunter S. Thompson, The Proud Highway: Saga of a Desperate Southern Gentleman

I have my life back!!

Its a funny thing college, sometimes I feel like I am in a time warp. In any case the Fall semester is a wrap and I am back to reading and writing about things that I actually find entertaining as opposed to what can be considered obligatory. Not that I didn't enjoy my classes this semester but given the time of year the holiday madness has a way of taking hold of a person and I felt for a split second there so scattered that I didn't  know which end was up..whew. Christmas is fast approaching and I am glad we got to take some time out and see The Elves & The Shoemaker Play at The Fountain Hills Theatre and see Santa not once but twice..last weekend I baked no less than 8 dozen cookies and this weekend after throwing an epic celebration for my sons 11th birthday I will be doing cupcakes and finishing up the last of the Christmas shopping..Hoping for a smooth next couple of weeks until we move into our new home. Sometimes its just nice to reflect and and realize that when life gets hectic it is good to be busy sometimes, it is in times like these you find the true meaning of going with the flow..now if I can just sit down and watch a movie in its entirety...

Christmas 2k11



Happy Christmas!

School is over this coming up Wednesday

Then I will be back <3

Spooked

The first person to wish me a happy birthday this year was the great Jeremiah Newton it was shortly thereafter that he advised me to get my Ouija bored out of the house. Taking it in jest I found myself up late one night around Halloween watching the real story behind the movie The Exorcist , as it turns out the Ouija bored was to blame ..who knew. Mine is tucked under my TV stand and I have second thoughts about messing around with it anymore. It was just a few weeks back the boys and I were trying to summon our late dog and to think what we may have brought into the house. Speaking of evil spirits I read an article last night about one of the kids who lived in the Amityville home and the proposed hoax behind it all that has hung over his family like a dark cloud since that afternoon they picked up and left that house and all of their belongings behind some 25 years ago, it got me to wonder about the current residents. You would have to either one be a real thrill seeker or two have gotten a pretty good deal to live in that house. I for one wouldn't regardless of the sensationalism surrounding that story something real happened there, just ask the kid he'll tell ya and if all goes right he will be telling everyone else at the Sundance film festival. Maybe we can finally get the real story. Being it was one of the first books I have ever read I would be pretty interested to hear it.

Jeremiah Newton & Candy Darling

Speaking of firsts the year has been full of them and to think that it is drawing to a close brings me into reflective mode. There is no stress associated with the holidays around here, why the Christmas shopping is almost done..almost not quite. The Fall semester is over in just about a month and soon we will be celebrating two more birthdays. I have been immersed in different styles of architecture..always the historian this explains away any future fanatical posts that may come your way. I have also been hugely distracted on my new hobby of couponing and getting things for free.. I know how this sounds and it is in no way due to any outside influence from shows on TV I swear. This is something I have pretty much always have done back and forth through my years raising a family however in the past few months I have kicked it into high gear and it has resulted in quite the stockpile..I find myself longing for an extra room in my home to put shelves in so that I may keep it nicely organized. But for now I have a huge dresser full of various brands of bodywash, lotions, shampoo,makeup, toothpaste, scented candles and you name it.. don't even get me started on the lip gloss my hubs says I could open a store. It is pretty fun actually and I can even keep up with it without leaving the house by snagging some stellar online deals.. I really should share though I doubt anyone comes around here expecting to find a deal.. and besides CentsableShoppin is the go to girl for things like this.. you really should check her out you may just find yourself hitting up 4 stores in one night and coming home with hundreds of dollars in food and product for like 60 bucks.. its true this is what you can find me doing on Tuesday nights.. but enough about that. Tomorrow is Monday and I am really going to try and wake up earlier, fact is I am not much of a morning person anymore...if I can refrain from reading ghost stories tonight I may just be able to..

Outside the Comfort Zone

Most of the time I tend to roll through life thinking anything is possible if you have the will..lately I find myself going with the flow instead of making things happen and I have begun to feel well somewhat lax..Perhaps it is because there has just been so much going on and despite my effort to slow things down a bit the weeks just seem to fly by..another birthday has just passed, as did Halloween and I am going strong in the day to day that is my life...I find myself longing for the Fall semester to end yet lamenting that it means the Spring semester will come before I know it and the closer I get to graduation the harder and more time consuming the classes are...but its alright no need for complaining afterall I am fortunate to just be able to have the opportunity to finish my degree..spending my Sunday taking test however is all that it takes to put me in a funk..especially when there are sick kiddos who are relentless about playing albums all throughout the day..at least my 5 year old goes to the old Warren Zevon or Linda Rondstat.. The days have turned chilly and I volunteered to run the face painting booth at the school carnival last Friday night, something that had me full of anxiety..but it worked out well despite the downpour..at least we got three good hours where it was just windy...Halloween was a blast the boys and I rode on the back of a mini pickup truck around the neighborhood and did some trick or treating and then we did 2 church festivals in 2 days..the amount of candy that remains in my house should be illegal! Tomorrow is a new day and a good nights rest may allow me to catch up with myself..I will get back to my yoga after a 2 day hiatus ( my body aches tell me its time) I will make a few phone calls to friends and family I haven't had time to catch up with this week..I will take care of my sick little man and give him lots of love and make something comforting for dinner..a glimpse of possibility in the next day of my life that lies ahead..time to get under some heavy covers, watch something on tv that I want to see and call it a night.....

Who Hates Getting His Picture Taken??? Date Night October 2k11

Steak Dinner @ Saddlebronc Grille...coffee shop & a late night drive....

Getting Back Up To Speed: Nothing Quite Like the Homecoming Celebration During the Wonder Years

What is the fascination with the affair known as the High School Homecoming? It is true what they say, when you have children it allows you to live your childhood out all over again. This is a great experience but being the parent of a teenager can bring back those not so distant memories which often times can be unfavorable ones. During my adolescent years I was swimming in feelings of inadequacy and awkwardness, the experience of going to a dance and actually dancing or partaking in the festivity known as the homecoming game would be something that I’d liken a close second to death. All I knew about homecoming is that it was an open invite for past students to return to their Alma matter. There was a king and queen involved who was usually the prettiest girl in school alongside the star athlete, and there was a lot of fuss to be had for finding the perfect dress and the floats while ostentatious were downright humorous. Reliving my teenage years through my 15 year old I am once again flung into the life and times of a sophomore in high school. But this time it is different, this time I am watching from the sidelines empathetic and in admiration of those bygone years. Notepad in hand I set out to witness the upcoming week in its entire carnival splendor.   Fall is upon us as the teenage angst has  began to brew in anticipation for the big game and the weeklong celebration that drives kids here in America crazy and had the whole town center covered in confetti, that which is homecoming Fountain Hills 2011.

I got to thinking after the third mad dash to the dollar store in a week for cheap noisemakers and fairy wings that second only to Halloween Homecoming sure has a way with stimulating the economy in the month of October. Not only is there the ever present need to have to find the perfect dress and the perfect pair of slacks, but the question as to what you do aside from the dance. Is their dinner involved? Apparently there is much like prom. Is a limousine in order? To some of the girls in the freshman class it was a no brainer and the limos were in abundance. Were their corsages or boutonnieres involved? Absolutely not, who knew. Not even the kind you wear on your wrist, no flowers, anywhere. Boy how times have changed. I took a center seat on the homecoming festivities and set about to not only volunteer for spirit week rallies and at the school but decided that for the first time ever I would be attending the homecoming football game and be present at the dance, if just for a little while, before my son and his friends noticed and I felt bad about potentially embarrassing him. I set out to experience the whole package to better understand what the hype was all about and to perhaps find that lost piece of teenage wasteland I’d let go of long ago. Before the grand finale known as the game was to occur followed closely by the dance, the week-long celebration began with what they term spirit week. Spirit week is essentially dressing up to a different theme every day to show pride in your school. It pretty much is anything goes and the sky is the limit as I soon found out on just how far these kids will go. The first day was what they called a looking cool day or clique day. Back in my time that would surely mean a turned up collar, bangs sprayed high and lots of blue eyeliner but looking cool proved to be a day where kids emerged as a blast from the past, a throwback to an era which feels worlds away from modern times, the 1950’s. It was like watching the movie Grease all over again; I think I had Grease songs running through my head the better part of the day as a matter of fact. Thanks to the ability to find almost any costume you can imagine online anymore many of the girls became Pink Ladies, pink satin jacket, poodle skirt, and all. The guys became the greasers, black leather jackets, white t-shirts, slicked back hair and skinny jeans. Hey skinny jeans were popular in the 1950’s too, who knew. John Travolta sadly was nowhere to be found. There was a lot of bravado building up throughout the day and I have to say it was nice for a change to see teenage boys with their shirts tucked in, a rarity nowadays; this is just something you do not see much of anymore. There is a lot of pride in this small town and throughout the week it was as though the teenagers had a free pass to become something other than what they normally are, to become an elaborate animated version of themselves. Nothing exemplifies this better than the next spirit day on the list fantasy day. Fantasy day can mean a lot of things and when I first heard this I hadn’t a clue what the dress code would entail but after running to and fro to the Goodwill, the Dollar Store and to Target to find the perfect skirt for my son I soon found out and took every opportunity to snap blackmail pictures all the while. It looked as if all the guys followed suit, from class to class there was a parade of neon fairies, it was like Narnia had gone psychedelic. Hair was sprayed the perfect shade of pink, football players donned tights and glitter and there were tutus and fuzzy ears everywhere you looked and no one was made fun of because of it. As a matter of fact given that all these guys were dressed like girls it was hard to tell who was who. There were the few that decided upon a wizard costume in place of the hose with Vans look but overall it was cross dressing at its finest. The girls had no particular theme but rather chose Playboy bunny costumes and dressed in their dads white business shirts complete with a loose tie and knee high socks giving off a modern day impression of the famous Rebecca Demornay in Risky Business. To my amazement being this was the week of anything goes they were all able to coexist in class throughout the day dressed in fairyland excess. The next few days that would follow would be color coded with each class choosing a particular color, there was the freshman all in red, the sophomores sporting a bright yellow, juniors in purple ala Barney the big round dinosaur and seniors who would prove to be the big hit in Green which spread beyond clothing to include green hair and face paint. St. Patrick’s Day in October. During the tail end of this spirit week the Fountain Hills Falcons had their first celebration and you would think that the whole town shut down and everyone was in attendance.

The Homecoming Parade takes place in the center of town in what is considered the downtown area. Like many small towns the downtown area is nothing like what you see in big cities and often involves a main street or drag lined with businesses and restaurants keyed to attract visitors and locals alike. Typically you will find kitschy shops and it is a place where decorations abound to commemorate the seasons and Fountain Hills is no different. The Avenue of the Fountains runs directly across the main attraction in town, the Fountain, located at Fountain Park it used to be the worlds largest and was the center point from which the town was built around. In closing off the surrounding streets this proved to be a great place for people to gather and in the crown you found students, teachers, parents and people from all ages anticipating the spectacle that was about to begin. The kids waited along the roadside in anticipation for candy and eagerly danced as the Fountain Hills Falcons marching band started their path to the anxious onlookers. Watching the local marching band play gives you a real home town feeling whether you live in a big city or a small time there is something about it that just grounds you and gives you a sense of place. As they belted out various tunes such as When the Saints Come Marching In and The Star Spangled Banner there were older students spinning batons in all their blue and silver glory along with a group of girls who looked as though they ranged between five and ten years of age shaking their pom poms and dancing down the road. Some of them looked sleepy and some of them were excited but either way it was a long walk for some and those little legs looked like they might give out at anytime adding a little character to the whole show. What followed was an elaborate display of homemade floats. When I say homemade it was not like I remember them to be where someone donates a trailer and some makeshift cardboard and paint are used to create something that leaves you wondering what the hell that was? No in this day and time there appears to be a great deal of money ,time, and effort put into this huge display of Falcon pride with each class getting a chance to show their talent and skill in its best form, or rather their parents, it is hard to tell. The floats were built in the back of small semi truck beds or as in one case a large rig with a huge trailer. Beyond the cardboard and paint there were banners and music and lights and dancing, it was quite the show. One float would take you to the tropics with a Hawaiian theme while the other was a scene right out of Nightmare Before Christmas complete with spiders, costumes and the beloved Jack. The senior float proved to be a big hit as the Varsity football team would have their place riding on it and if you have ever visited a small town or live in one you’d know that the high school football team is all the rage. People get crazy here over about high school football. It is ingrained in the popular culture of America. It is serious business and not something to be taken lightly. Every float handed or rather threw large amount of candy into the crown as the children ran back and forth as though they were hungry dogs in a mad race to see who could gather the most. To a child a parade isn’t about the fancy cars rolling down or the fire departments tooting their horn so much as it is about the candy and with Halloween fast approaching there was plenty of good stuff. Tootsie roll pops and Twix bars seemed to be the popular favorite. Speaking of fancy cars there were plenty of them as the members of AMVETS and Kiwanis clubs along with our local politicians rode and waved to the less than thrilled onlookers who were were waiting for the real fun to begin. That being the end of the road where there would be a stage awaiting the arrival of those Varsity football players. Around the stage the cheerleaders danced and flung around singing the song of Falcon Power as the crowd clapped and hollered the team took the stage and everyone gathered in a circle around them. Last names were yelled out as the townspeople cheered loudly in an effort to build momentum for what was about to occur in less than twenty four hours, the big game.

Let me first say I am not a fan of football that is not to say that football isn’t watched in my house. With 4 boys here it controls our Sundays and Monday nights for the better part of fall and winter, I have grown accustomed to this mind you but it doesn’t mean I have to like it. I was apprehensive about going to the homecoming game at first. After all I don’t think I even went to one of my own high school football games. But in order to get the full experience I found it necessary and even though I promised my 15 year old son I wouldn’t sit by him and his friends I’d like to think that him just knowing that I went was a good thing. The kids were all jazzed up still from the goings on that occurred earlier in the day. The Pep rally as it has come to be known here in America hasn’t changed much since I was in high school, well minus the Salt and Peppa music and the reminder as to why I would not dance if my life depended on it. There were football players dressed up in their respective colors pretending to be cheerleaders, there were cheerleaders who were trying to get a rise out of the crowd which was compromised of those students who actually think the pep rally is fun and those students who are glad to just have gotten out of class for the afternoon and cracked jokes at the expense of them. Nevertheless it created energy and you could feel it in the air as it spilled over into the night as the bleachers began to fill. One student actually complained that the pep rally wasn’t as fun as it was in recent years being that there was no disc jockey. This was something new, we never had disc jockeys. I began to wonder if they would have one at the dance.

The football field is located kitty-corner to Fountain Hills High School and proudly boasts home of the Falcons. This epicenter of Falcon Pride can be found in a most unassuming neighborhood and something tells me the neighbors more than likely aren’t making any noise complaints. After the opposing team and their egos arrived on the field there was a sense that all hell was about to break loose coupled with the smell of freshly popped popcorn in the air. The feeling of competition weighed heavy on these players and you could tell this wasn’t a show, this wasn’t a spectacle, this was a game and one in which they intended on winning. After a brief appearance by the home coming king and queen along with their undergraduate wannabes it was time to play ball. That being said the homecoming queen does appear to still be the prettiest and most popular girl, and the king had the kind of toothy grin and sense of entitlement that only a star athlete can possess.  We were playing Estrella Foothills High and the adapted motto found everywhere from posters to banners to t-shirts was “Attack the Pack”. It must be rough to be the away team on homecoming night. But attack them we did. The crowd was wild. There was a lot of cheering and hot dogs and yelling over the band. The cheerleaders did their best to keep everyone’s spirits up, but we were doing great. The Falcon spirit was high intensity and I was just glad that I could be there to witness the vibe first hand. The team took a take no prisoners approach and the end result was an astounding win by thirty points. There is a reason why high school football tends to be so popular in cities and towns throughout America and that is that it generates a sense of camaraderie and defeat, it turns up the volume on this thing called life. This is a good thing as there is nothing that can quite compare to the feeling of being a winner and for these boys having the whole town cheer them on to victory made them proud. They would not let us down.

The icing on the cake in this week long series of events was the homecoming dance. The theme for this year would be “A Night in Times Square”. When you are out on the town in New York you dress up and for the homecoming dance the kids would be dressed to the nines. Limousines began to drop off groups of giddy girls excited for what the night may hold. The boys waited anxiously in groups perhaps wondering if slow dancing is required and if they’d be brave enough to ask someone to dance alongside the makeshift neon signs of Times Square. Then there were the couples who arrived hand in hand among the parade of parents cars that lined the parking lot. I put thought into what it would be like if I had a girl going to homecoming instead of my son, I could only imagine what must go into picking the dress that was just right for the big affair. Just getting my son ready would prove to be quite the task which involved a haircut more expensive than my own and slacks that had to be tailored just so. I wasn’t privy to what happened behind closed doors, no one wants their parent hanging around at the high school dance, we just aren’t welcome. Two hours before the dance was to begin the girl that my son had asked to go with him told him she would be going with friends. As my heart sank in hearing this news I suddenly felt like not much has changed. Those teenage years are still filled with broken hearts, feelings of awkwardness, apprehension and hope. And for a tiny slice of your life you get together with everyone else regardless of their status in school and celebrate something that is traditional, that reinforces the feeling of being a part of something and is special to the community and to the school. You make memories that you’ll carry with you for the rest of your life, good and bad. Based upon the fact I picked my son up with another young lady I am thinking they were pretty good.

On Turning 38

I am only going to be 37 for another couple of days and it got me to thinking..I look better and I feel better than I did at 27..Hell I am in the best shape of my life so far..I have more compassion & have let go of the nonsense..whoever says getting older sucks I beg to differ for this is where its at!
I am not one of those women who loves being pregnant. I enjoyed feeling the baby kick and being able to check out and give myself TLC at free will but the reality of it is having my body all tweaked out then having rough deliveries 2 out of 3 times one of the things that I am newly awakened to is that I never have to go through it again and yes as dire as it sounds this for me is cause for celebration. I embraced motherhood like second nature and live for my kids but there comes a time and place in your life where you look back and realize that you will no longer be changing diapers or potty training or breastfeeding or waking up endlessly through the night and you find that your okay with it. For the first time in 15 years I have all of my children in school and I am just beginning to settle into it giving attention where attention is needed to my three sons who are 15, 10, and 5..the only difficulty arises from the fact that due to their age differences they don't always enjoy doing the same things so giving individual attention with respect to their their ages is important.
Looking back I am also amazed at how far I have come in the way of relationships. I was married for ten years to someone who I was in a relationship with for a total of 18. While he still remains my best friend I am a different person now that we are no longer married and I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that he is not in my life on a daily basis anymore. Getting over the divorce was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, I literally became my own worst enemy. However once the dust settled I began to realize something..I was no longer the stressed out materialistic person I once was, the person who sat there always wondering what life was like on the other side. The beauty of embracing the life you never planned on is being thrown into situations where you are forced to deal and adjust, these are the things that build character.As I was thrown into the dating world ( which could be the subject of an entire book in and of itself) and forced to have to support myself and three children with little to no financial support from anyone some wonderful things happened along the way. I began to realize that there is truth in the statement that meeting the wrong types of people just prepare you for the right person when they come along..meaning you tend to appreciate someone more when you have experienced the wrong type of man one too many times. You also figure out what it is that YOU want as opposed to what you have been programmed to want and you cannot put a price on this, getting this figured out is life changing stuff. On the rare occasion I open up to someone and we speak about divorce one of the things that consistently comes out of my mouth is that for whatever the reason it needed to happen for no other reason than I needed to be humbled. The last years of my marriage we were a young couple who saw our hard work pay off and by all means became very wealthy. Never having a real appreciation for the value of money we spent through hundreds of thousands of dollars on fancy cars, extravagant trips and you name it. The lifestyle that I was used to came to an abrupt halt and one day I literally woke up with nothing. Through this a strange thing happened I learned that I could count on myself no matter what the situation, when others in my boat would likely move back in with their parents or seek solace in enacting revenge I pulled up my big girl panties, swallowed my pride and went back to work as a waitress because the need for daily cash was reality, eventually getting back on track with my career in my chosen professions and through it all was able to maintain a nice house for my children and myself, we may not have been able to go out to eat every week or afford luxuries but we lived pretty good within the middle class.This is how its been up until I got remarried. This is how and why things became real to me and the nonsense was forced to take a back seat and I am a better person for it living with full realization of what matters and what doesn't and yes this applies to people as well.
The whole process of picking yourself back up when you fall I liken to complete enlightenment, everyone should have to learn how to do this at least once or twice in their lives.It is the breeding ground for compassion and empathy which are important qualities few too many people posses. Judgment & caring about what others think goes out the window.
I am looking forward to these late 30's ahead, a few health scares have only made me treat myself and my body more kindly. I went back to college to pursue my PhD and am a student but more importantly I am a student of life..everyone in life encounters problems it is how you deal with them and what you learn from your experiences that makes all the difference. Life is full of possibility nothing is ever set in stone and anything is possible if you have the will. Love and hold on to the people that treat you right and let go of the rest, make sure the people in your life are your fan club..I have come to realize that I deserve nothing but the best and that best has nothing to do with material things or status but with knowing that I lead a life worth living and knowing the value of the things that make up that life.

Flashback to 2010..I'm not sure what I was doing this time last year but I know that I wasn't having as much fun as I am this year and that I was a lot wealthier...

Madness

I feel like I have entered the school of life yet I have always been here. Perhaps my eyes were closed my senses numb, so excuse my absence as I have found it wildly entertaining! Los Angeles is full of smog, whatever fascination I once had with the place went out the back door after this last weekend..it is worth mentioning that there are barely any white people there either.
I have been studying Eastern Religions..American Historicism..and tip toeing through Philosophy class..I might even publish something tomorrow but for now it is late, my bodyclock has me up till 1...I'll be back after a good nights rest!! And Yes the new layout is madness isn't it though? It reminds me of an insane collage..I am going to look at it for a few days so if you are finding it hard to navigate know that it is only temporary and I will be done fooling around in no time..

10/4/2k11

The things I love about October..1st it is my birthday month..2ND Halloween..which is always a blast when you have kids..There is always too much candy and enough sweet stuff to go around..the best thing about this Halloween is that my best friend is not having his annual Halloween party, while it is always a blast this year I won't be under pressure to find the coolest costume which has brought me to near panic in previous years..it will be smooth sailing. I will be heading out to LA later on this month as well to view the opening of Romanza: A Frank Lloyd Wright documentary , attend a huge Taekwondo competition in Torrence and watch my son compete (and hopefully kick some serious tail), and do my second photo assignment at the Salton Sea. This is one of the most magical places to me and I am beyond excited to visit this old friend. If all goes right I may just leave early and indulge in a little Palm Springs for a day or 2, one of my favorite places to be. So it will be a busy month..school and work and family are all full of activity and I am just trying to keep up with it all, isn't that always the case. I am always making something but when Fall rolls around it is time for some serious cooking in my house. I have always cooked according to the seasons and this time of year I have started off with 2 new chilli's and the crock pot will pretty much have a permanent home on the counter for the next few months. Especially thanks to The Crock Pot Girls , their recipes rock! Pumpkin cakes and breads start making an appearance as does apple cobblers. My son is requesting caramel apples this year and here's hoping that no one loses a tooth, I haven't made these in years so this should be interesting. Don't you just love these cupcakes!"Eyeball" Cupcakes recipe.. pretty awesome if you ask me!

Edgar Lee Masters: The Hotel Chelsea

The Hotel Chelsea

Edgar Lee Masters

Anita! Soon this Chelsea Hotel
Will vanish before the city’s merchant greed,

Wreckers will wreck it, and in its stead

More lofty walls will swell

This old street’s populace. Then who will know

About its ancient grandeur, marble stairs,

Its paintings, onyx-mantels, courts, the heirs

Of a time now long ago?

Who will then know that Mark Twain used to stroll

In the gorgeous dining-room, that princesses,

Poets and celebrated actresses

Lived here and made its soul;

In after years, so often made and unmade

By the changing generations, until today

It stands a tomb of happiness passed away,

Of an era long overlaid?

What loves were lived here, what despairs endured,

What children born here, and what mourners went

Out of its doors, what peace and what lament

These rooms knew, long obscured

Will be more lost when fifty years from hence

The place thereof will have no memory,

When men must hunt its picture, so to see

What it looked like amid this turbulence!

Few now remember even the noted names

That loved its hospitality in past years.

Who will remember me when wrecking shears

Clip like a leaf this room of troubled aims,

And make this window one with the sky’s space,

By which I sat looking into the court?

This table that I write on will not report

My dreams, gone by without a trace.

There will not be a seat for any ghost,

No room left for a musing ghost to smile

On kisses, vows, regrets, that for a while

Made life, and then were lost.

The blue-eyed woman who went out and in

The entrance door, time and the tooth thereof

Will take her, take the man who gave her love,

Both will be lost ere twenty years begin.

With purest love this woman was beloved;

With pain her lover looked upon her grief,

Her past, and strove to give her heart relief,

Himself by Life so moved.

All this will be but currents of the air

Veering and lost. Tell me how souls can be

Such flames of suffering and of ecstasy,

Then fare as the winds fare?

Tell me how love that fills the human heart

With a sense of things eternal must submit

To what is eyeless, and is infinite,

And hears so soon the word ‘depart/”

Anita! You can perpetuate by thought

What we have lived, when this hotel is gone.

Passing its site remember I was one

Who sought for peace and found it not.

Remember that I loved you, scarce could bear

My helplessness to give your spirit thrift –

Remember this as with the tide you drift,

Others will not remember, nor even care

The Chelsea is no longer taking reservations or renting.....

A few years back I set about making a reservation at the Chelsea where I planned on staying for a period of 1 year. I was going to learn to play a little piano and make some new acquaintances..instead I chose to lose myself in the decadence of South Beach,Miami.. a decision I now regret after hearing this somber news..It has me now going over and over in my head all of the things I have ever really wanted to do..to accomplish yet haven't made happen..this overwhelming feeling like I am running out of time. Suddenly while on the way to work this morning I am mapping out the next couple of years until I hit the big 4-0. As if this is some kind of doomsday and here I am swimming in the land of missed opportunity. I reasoned with myself throughout the day that I have made sacrifices to my family and to raise my children..hence I haven't been able to travel as much as I would have liked to and grow in ways I may have wanted to..it's all about the sacrifice. And you know it has been worth it as far as my children are concerned thus far we have had a stable home life in a safe small town which feels worlds away from places like New York City..but I feel as though I am wasting a part of myself holed up here and as the wanderlust continues to burn on it will be no surprise if I decide to escape one day here soon..just to look at something different if just for a while.

That Which Is Wilde

If a modern sculptor were to come and say, 'Very well, but where can one find subjects for sculpture out of men who wear frock-coats and chimney-pot hats?' I would tell him to go to the docks of a great city and watch the men loading or unloading the stately ships, working at wheel or windlass, hauling at rope or gangway. I have never watched a man do anything useful who has not been graceful at some moment of his labour: it is only the loafer and the idle saunterer who is as useless and uninteresting to the artist as he is to himself. I would ask the sculptor to go with me to any of your schools or universities, to the running ground and gymnasium, to watch the young men start for a race, hurling quoit or club, kneeling to tie their shoes before leaping, stepping from the boat or bending to the oar, and to carve them; and when he was weary of cities I would ask him to come to your fields and meadows to watch the reaper with his sickle and the cattle-driver with lifted lasso. For if a man cannot find the noblest motives for his art in such simple daily things as a woman drawing water from the well or a man leaning with his scythe, he will not find them anywhere at all. Gods and goddesses the Greek carved because he loved them; saint and king the Goth because he believed in them. But you, you do not care much for Greek gods and goddesses, and you are perfectly and entirely right; and you do not think much of kings either, and you are quite right. But what you do love are your own men and women, your own flowers and fields, your own hills and mountains, and these are what your art should represent to you.

For the Love of the OG Artists Movement

“Art arises from loss. I wish this weren't the case. I wish that every time I met a new woman and she rocked my world, I was inspired to write my ass off. But that is not what happens. What happens is we lie around in bed eating chocolate and screwing. Art is what happens when things don't work out, when you're licking your wounds. Art is, to a larger extent than people would like to think, a productive licking of the wounds.”
― Steve Almond, Candyfreak: A Journey through the Chocolate Underbelly of America

Looking Out My Bedroom Window This Morning

In The Land of Wine and Roses...

I have been moving through the last week of life with a hop skip and a jump..Apparently the big news story of the day is that plane crash in Nevada but I have been lost in the Bermuda Triangle for longer than I would like to admit today. As of late things are moving along at a fast pace but to summarize what I have been doing in the last week besides blogging ...


Playing Nurse: Why does time seem to stand still when a child is sick? For two days I too layed in bed and watching Sesame Street , reading stories, playing with stuffed animals and making huge amounts of chicken soup. When Jake was ready to return to school I returned to reality batteries recharged..

Coffee Shop: This is where you can find me on most weekday mornings lingering and making conversation about anything from any number of topics while getting hopped up on insane amounts of iced coffee with soy and splendas.. Being that the weather has taken a turn for the better and the days have been nice I have taken to lingering in the afternoons too reading chapters on indigenous religions...

The Ever Present School: The Fall semster is in full swing and talk about fast pace. My classes this semster are all unique in the way they are taught for instance my upper level world religions course is a free learning honors class where I can choose from like 250 things to do for points per week.. as compared to my Sports and Society class where I have 4 assignments all semster and the other 3 that are a daily event I find myself in a lot of directions..not that anyone cares but siffice to say it takes up a lot of my time man..

And Then Theres The Other Stuff: Like work a couple days a week, managing time for yoga,mourning the fact that the Missoni collection sold out of Target in minutes and I wasn't wise enough to pick up a bike or 4 at $399 (they are selling for over $1300 on Ebay) I would have been happy with a cute knit dress..toting kiddos to and fro between school, practices, classes, events, football games it is never ending. At least someone has a social life around here..

With that being said what is in the forcast for the rest of the year for you? I am thinking ahead to the next few months and am pretty psyched about Halloween, mainly because I won;t be pressured into going to a Halloween party this year like I have been the past three and dressing up. I have started to decorate and am picking up some new scary stuff here and there. I am heading to LA in October and will be doing another photo shoot at the Salton Sea on the way back. I am going to lighten my load as well and get rid of some major posessions via a yard sale in Oct. Other than making the holidays memorable I am thinking now of what I will be giving up this year. Every year I try to give up something, to let go of it..last year it was drinking. I had my last sip of wine shortly before New Years last year..next year I am thinking white sugar..or meat..I can do vegan but only have made it a few mos at a time..I think I will try the white sugar thing for a month and see where it goes..which means I should start weening myself off of it now and quit eating my cinnamon toast crunch breakfast every night before I fall asleep... plain cheerios just don't do it for me..

Until The End of the World

I was listening to this song tonight weaving in and out through the mountains by my house high u on the ridge watching the lightening crack in the sky..it makes for a beautiful poem.. Haven't seen you FOR quite a while I was down the HOLE just passing time Last time we met was a low-lit room We were as close together as a bride and groom We ate the food, we drank the wine Everybody having a good time Except you You were talking about the end of the world I took the money I spiked your drink You miss too much these days if you stop to think You lead me on with those innocent eyes You know I love the element of surprise In the garden I was playing the tart I kissed your lips and broke your heart You You were acting like it was the end of the world Love...love...love...love...love...love... Love...love...love...love...love...love... Love...love...love...love... In my dream I was drowning my sorrows But my sorrows, they learned to swim Surrounding me, going down on me Spilling over the brim Waves of regret, waves of joy I reached out for the one I tried to destroy You, you said you'd wait till the end of the world. -U2 Achtung Baby

Strange days..strange moods..the week has been full of opportunities and new experiences..which has me between jaded excited and exhausted all at the same time..life has been busy to say the least..I am not permitted to talk about the work that I will be doing in the coming months other than to say that next week I get to take a polygraph exam..ya kind of freaked out about that..I wasn't always an angel:) Low key weekend and just as well..playing catch up on school work is never ending. You name it I am learning it or so it feels:) Thanks for being patient the few of you that stop in once in a while..things will cool down as of next week and return to normal..and some things may be heating up..more on that to come.. but for now just know

Heart, 1984 ( I Love You) Andy Warhol

Every once in a while you stumble across a blog or a website that inspires and makes you take notice and think in a new direction or look at things a little different. If even just for a while. Through reading a friends blog I came across these fine women over at Brave Girls Club and I have to say the work they are doing is that of sheer beauty. To say that you will come away from viewing this site feeling good and a little more on your toes is an understatement. I hope that you will check them out...I love these images found on their Facebook page,  like them and you will be so blessed as to receive their daily doses of inspirational messages called A Little Bird Told Me...their motto being Love the Life Your In..I encourage sharing this special little place with your daughters, sisters and all important women in your life, it is places like this that fuel human connection and help to make us the extraordinary and strong women that we are..

Paradise Labor Day Weekend 2k11

If I was one of those people who say liked to write down self affirmations on sticky notes and post them on my mirrors so that I can look at them in the morning while I brush my teeth and give myself a mental marathon before I start the day I would make it a point to remind myself of a few key things ..

BE THE BEST YOU YOU CAN BE!!

This would help me to curb my sarcasm and remind myself that sometimes I just need to put a sock in it. It may perhaps help me to keep my commitments and even be timely. Miraculous!

KEEP IT REAL

Okay so the REAL reason I have no interest in attending my 20 yr. high school reunion other than I thought high school was a complete drag is that I have no ex boyfriends who will be there to show off in front of because they were all older..in some cases much older and therefore it doesn't sound like much fun and why would I want to pay $200 to go mingle with people that couldn't care less if I ever saw again... The REAL reason I hardly ever eat out is because service is a joke in most places and paying a pretty penny for mediocre food just irks me and unfortunately poor service and okay food seems to be the norm nowadays..I have spent $300 on a dinner for 2 and $30 on a dinner for 5 and yet 90% of the time the experience just sucks so I stay home and save myself the aggravation.

YOU WILL FIND THAT YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO DO EVERYTHING ..WHAT IS IMPORTANT IS THAT YOU JUST KEEP DOING SOMETHING..

I am never going to save the world but I can help a select few in my life and do my best to raise decent human beings. I may not be a rockstar wife but I can keep doing the little things that make up the foundation of our relationship so that we have room to grow. I may not have the time or will to complete nor to follow through with the hundreds of good ideas or places I want to go or things I want to incorporate into my life but even if I just accomplish a few its okay. In 20 years the last thing I will remember are the dishes left in the sink or the workout I didn't get in today, it will be the moments in between that I spent with the people I loved.

LOOK ALIVE!

No matter what you do for a living whether you manage a huge company or look after wild children you will always feel better and deal better when you look good. Take care of the inside, the outside and everything in between doing only what makes sense. It truly does affect everything.

MAKE SURE THAT YOU TELL THE PEOPLE THAT MEAN EVERYTHING TO YOU THAT YOU LOVE THEM EVERY DAY!

There is nothing more heartbreaking than loosing someone who is dear to you due to the unexpected and realizing that you never said it that last time or that you didn't say it enough.This rule applies to the people that you have told a thousand times and the ones that haven't a clue..

Life is a precious gift and noone really knows what happens when we leave here..

Now it's time to get out the sharpie and postits and drive my husband mad..

Maybe I can use them to remind him to take out the garbage and finish the painting he started 2 mos ago?

JT: What has sobriety meant for you personally?
AK: Drugs and alcohol were an exciting shortcut to a false sense of well-being. They were like medicine to my spiritually deficient existence that stopped working and left me with an even bigger void. So, basically I loved them, but they didn’t love me back. Most people can’t relate to being powerless over mind-altering substances, so even some close friends give me the blank stare when I explain that I don’t drink or use at all. I totally understand that reaction because I can’t relate to what it might feel like to be schizophrenic or have manic depression. As for being in the stride of change, I love the recovery path. We all have a path and this one just happened to speak to me.

One of the greatest answers to a very personal question by the enigmatic Anthony Kiedis..by the way have you had a listen to the new Red Hots album yet..frickin brilliant to say the least but I really didn't expect anything less.

I have spent the week spinning my wheels..trying to get into a groove when truth is sometimes it feels as though the days go by so so fast. I hope to spend a full day in the pool this weekend and am looking forward to doing a photo project at Taliesin West on Monday with my oldest son..What is capturing my attention this week..The Crock Pot Girls, these gals now have almost a million likes on Facebook..a MILLION! They are 3 stay at home moms who started a little page to exchange crock pot recipes and not like they were the first to have this idea and throw up a fan page but for whatever reason it took off like crazy and their likes continue to go through the roof..and get this they didn't even have a website or a blog yet..they are frantically trying to pull one together. Kudos ladies!!It doesn't look like their server is handling the amount of traffic very well yet but when they get it all together I will surely be stalking to not only check out these great recipes (choc. lava cake anyone) but to watch these rising stars.
I have spent the week with my nose in the books..studying about PreSocratic philosophers ..appreciating Socrates ever so much more..pouring over maps, comparing population figures...writing about popular vs folk culture as well as adaptive reuse. My architecture class is a blast so far..it is like my dessert. We are going over the Chicago Worlds Fair and how the Industrial Revolution impacted building, city planning and design in the years that would follow.I am not a big fan of my sport in society class which is a prerequisite for my degree. I am trying to look at the positives but 4 pages on why children in New Guinea prefer to play street hockey really? Guess what I will be doing Sunday night? But that's enough about school..I have been making time for relaxation and family as well and have been enjoying helping out at my sons school and reading to the boys just about every night. It is so important to read to your children, even if it is just for a half hour and of course if they are able have them read to you. We have been reading lots of Dr Seuss as my youngest son has been making these choices from his school library..tonight we read one of our William Wegman books, the kids just love the photos and I am looking for a poster to have framed for my middle son. We have been fascinated with monster fish, alien fish and finger monkeys..and we have been playing Chinese checkers like crazy and building card houses. It's hard to think of Halloween and all of the excitement that Fall brings when it is 115 degrees outside. It has been so darn hot we have been spending all our time inside, heck the schools aren't even having recess outside right now. We celebrated my husbands birthday Monday..he hates his birthdays something which I just cannot understand for the life of me. He is overworked and when he isn't working he is sleeping which has been the norm for some time now I only hope there is a light at the end of this tunnel for him.
Heading to the resort this weekend will be a welcome treat even if just for 2 days being inside all the time gives me a case of cabin fever and severe wanderlust..but I have been having fun at the theatre..this is the first season I have season tickets and have been taking the boys..we saw Beauty & the Beast last weekend and they loved it and I enrolled my middle son in an after school workshop..I am so looking forward to the upcoming shows especially at Christmastime...enough about me its time for something beautiful..the day just calls for it..



The Crystal Palace designed by Joseph Paxton. Considered to be the first modern building it was the inspiration behind the designs of Walt Disney (his father worked on the project) as well as the magical land of OZ. Destroyed by fire in the 1930's after years of being in ruin this is how I prefer to remember it, in all of it's glory.

Flashback

Summer Circa 2009

Artist Spotlight: Keith Haring

Haring Mural which used to reside in downtown Phoenix

We've teamed up with Phoenix's newest independent theatre, FilmBar, to bring you a monthly film and mixer meetup on the last Monday of the month. We will be showing a variety of films that range from fine art to street art, architecture, industrial design, and, naturally, graphic design.

Tickets are only $5 (at the door). No advanced tickets will be sold. The FilmBar offers a number of libations and appetizers prior to the film showing. Get there before 7pm to take advantage of happy hour. The film plays at 8pm.

Film Synopsis:

THE UNIVERSE OF KEITH HARING is an intimate portrait of world-renowned artist Keith Haring whose mantra was that "Art is for everyone!" The film is a thorough and intimate exploration of the background and career of one of the most popular and significant artists of the 20th century.

The film features interviews and archival footage of Fab 5 Freddy, Jeffrey Deitch, Kim Hastreiter, Grace Jones, Madonna, Yoko Ono, David LaChapelle, Kenny Scharf, Carlo McCormick, Andy Warhol, Ann Magnuson, Tony Shafrazi, and Junior Vasquez, among many others. Audio excerpts from original interviews with Keith Haring, were conducted by Haring's biographer John Gruen (Keith Haring: the Authorized Biography).

Trailer:
http://youtu.be/m3nbbGFEG2s

Directed by Christine Clausen and edited by Silvia Giulietti. The film's theme song is by the famed DJ and record producer, Junior Vasquez, with an original soundtrack by Angelo Talocci.Monday night, Aug 29, ***Marshall Shore will be presenting about Phoenix's own Keith Haring Mural located Downtown Phoenix, before the film***

FilmBar

815 N. 2nd Street

Phoenix, AZ

 

Keith Haring visits Phoenix circa 1990

The New Fiat 500

What do you think of this swanky little guy? The Sweet Valley High twins rode around in a Fiat..this was the car a few of your friends could pick up and relocate if they wanted to pay a trick on you .Clearly Fiat is evolving...not a huge fan of the aesthetics but I think it is sure to give Mini and VW a run for their money..I think people are going to be definitely showing the love to this once little retro car company..

Andre Leon Talley & Bill Cunningham circa 1984

Did I mention Vogues celebrated Fall issue arrived in my mailbox this week and that last night I read it cover to cover? All 780 pages...If you haven't seen it yet here's a sneak peek..red leather shoes and bags are where it's at for Fall..a far cry from the monotone beige and tan pumps and sandals for spring and summer that had the added benefit of elongating legs.. there are some rich reds making an appearance and that makes me glad I didn't toss the one red bag I kept from 5 yrs ago..remorseful I gave away the other one and wondering where in the garage are the red open toed pumps from 4 summers ago.. but in any case guess what else is rearing its head Plaid! Yes Plaid! And I don't mean the menswear shirts that came and went two winters ago or the baby doll numbers in "Buffalo" plaid but real old school plaid skirts, vests, leggings and you name it..anything goes but color will be key to this trend..the most popular styles will be in yup you guessed it red! I don't know about you but the first skinny plaid pants and skirt I come across will be mine..plaid can be so schoolgirl yet so punk rock at the same time..I am going to have fun with this. The Gap is bringing back their circa 1969 skinny bell bottoms and they are super cute, plan to see them in dark rinses...these will be meant to fit skin tight so by all means go with a smaller size and suck it in. And lastly something that I am beyond excited about is that Missoni is bringing a huge collection of fashion and housewares to Target yes Targay! Affordable! Their geometric knitwear essentials have long been a favorite since they hit the scene within Milan in the 1960's in psychedelic colors..not much has changed pattern wise but plan on seeing a lot of rich purples, greens and browns mixed together for Fall and don't even get me started on the blues..magnificent. I am eager to see what the housewares line has to offer as the matriarch behind one of Italy's oldest and most celebrated clothing lines is still at the helm heading up Missoni home.. I think you will find us in some pretty wild blankets this winter.

What Day Is It?

I have decided that starting tomorrow I am going to set my alarm for 5 instead of 6:30..I never have relied on an alarm to wake up in the morning until recently when I find myself waking up slow and lingering in bed until 6:30. You would think since I have cut almost 40 hrs off of my work schedule per week I would have all the time in the world and then some but the funny thing is I am just as busy, not that I am complaining but I do find it somewhat amusing. My days are now filled with volunteer work, my classes, keeping up with everything the kids have going on which considering they are now all involved in at least two activities aside from school I rely on my little day planner to dictate whats next. This is all good stuff, I still may not have time to tackle the house in its entirety before the weekend rolls around or be so lucky as to not spend my evenings doing homework but it is better, things are starting to flow and I like that..it does make me wonder how I did it all before. So yes tomorrow is Friday and it will be a busy one and I will start it with some yoga to recenter myself. I am so enjoying reading time with the boys at night I am bringing out some books that haven't made an appearance for a while and trying to turn them onto to whimsical poetry. Lately I am also taking into consideration how my time is spent being careful not to waste it away on things like oh say bad company, facebook, television... instead I am writing philosophical questions, opening my mind to new forms of architecture and learning everything you'd ever want to know about maps which has me bringing out all the maps from within my huge National Geographic collection and hanging them..what ever happened to that globe anyways? I am looking forward to spending time with my husband this weekend..his days are long and he works so hard weekday nights he needs to regroup and recharge his batteries..his birthday is coming up in 3 days even though he isn't excited for it I sure am and I will be making his favorite carrot banana cake and trying out some massage techniques that could potentially backfire but hopefully relieve some tension...no wine required.

E! spent $20,000,0000 on KIM KARDASHIAN'S WEDDING / And on the other side of the world...

What a wonderful world this could be...

Do you ever just have one of those days where you just seem to find yourself in some sort of a funk? Caught between not feeling like doing anything particular at all and being bored out of your mind at the same time? Saturday was one of those days for me..maybe it was because my husband spent the weekend golfing or that the sweltering weather kept us inside late in the afternoon..or perhaps I was just pooped out from spending the morning at a soccer skills assessment which took me through 4 long lines in triple digit weather as my back dripped and I fantasized about jumping in a pool. This restless bliss kept up until I announced somewhat last minute that we were going out to eat Chinese, I mean if a flaming PuPu platter and Chinese horoscopes over hot tea doesn't cheer you up nothing will right?So there I was sitting with the kids, a window seat might I add in the same old red glitter boothes within the towns only Chinese restaurant reminding myself once again to never marry the goat while reading my place mat when it hit me. We are not only the only people in here, except for the owners family enjoying their dinner on a back table across the room..but is that ..nah..wait a minute it is..the theme from Animal House playing via oriental instrumental. I instantly snapped out of my blaze mood and began to picture the family in the Christmas Story enjoying their Chinese Christmas dinner and suddenly it dawned on me hey this life of mine is pretty good duh...The past few days I have been checked out I have been enjoying birthday parties in the park..spending time with the boys and embracing the first day of school. I have been looking into nonprofits and museums in my down time...eating sweets..and making peace. If anyone has happened to notice I changed my URL to a big time Dot com I named my blog after an art magazine a dear old friend used to have, in fact its an homage to him, which showcased controversial works of art and literature in an uncensored fashion. It catered to the local punk scene and every time you opened up a new issue you just never knew what you'd find within those pages, but whatever it was it was something you would find yourself thinking about later.

Happenings

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08/15/2k11 A Week of Full Moons

Journal Circa 2005

I have always been pretty good about keeping a journal since my teenage years..often times they were started with great zeal and left half empty..I went through stages with writing things down and although months would sometimes pass in between entries I would always go back to them someday. I have many beautiful journals among my bookshelves that reflect the days of my life long ago full of empty pages waiting to be re-discovered. I suppose since starting this blog a few years back that this has almost become my journal, except everyone can see it that chooses to and that in and of itself is kinda of strange I must admit. Whenever I happen upon one of these old journals I can't help but flip through a few pages and roll down memory lane, the good and the bad and reflect on what place I was in my life. 2005 was a significant year for me in that life as I had known it would never be the same. It was a huge time of personal growth for me and I was coming to terms with admitting to myself that I was not existing in a happy marriage, I ended that year pregnant with my third son and things had changed so much within the course of that year I had no idea where life would take me all I knew is that change was on the horizon. The following year I found myself in a completely different place living a completely different life and went through personal changes beyond anything I could have imagined at the time. If I have learned anything from that transition, the change..what I gained from it is that I once again became a humble person. Looking back I needed to be humbled and more importantly I needed to know that for the first time in my life I could take care of myself and my children and fly solo..which reaffirmed that no matter what happens to me I will be okay because I can trust myself  and my abilities and I will make it so. I walked away from a beautiful home, money, a house full of things taking only what I needed and bid farewell life as I knew it..it was a hard couple of years, I often times walked around feeling as though someone blew out the light inside of me, that I had lost my spirit but I wouldn't change a thing...Six years later I find myself a person who knows with utmost certainly that I deserve to be happy and fully embrace this unplanned life of mine... I look back to the words I wrote during the calm before the storm..and sometimes I feel as though I almost knew then that one day it would all be worth it...

Random Entries 2005

~Home is what catches you when you fall, and we all fall

~Don't scribble just adjust & try to understand..embrace confusion

~Practice random acts of kindness,music is the language of the soul, today I vow to forgo what drains me, to cling to only what is inspiring,try to only surround myself with people who inspire me and make time to enjoy their company, To not be so opinionated and quiet my mind. The love of my life..keeper of my heart..time to let go and continue on this path.

Get myself healthy again and take great care in doing so, read instead of watch TV..don't let money get me down be smart with all costs. Know that there is a bigger plan for me..

~Compassion is the best healer

~Life is too short for bad company

~Faith is the basis of the path..the mother of virtue it nourishes all roots of goodness

~the Gardens of Heilbrunn, Austria..Home to the Gazebo of "Sixteen Going On Seventeen"

~Keep on the straight & narrow

~I can do everything through him who gives me faith-Philippians 4:13

~Whatever is not yours abandon it-when you have abandoned it, that will lead to your welfare and happiness.

~Hell is empty, all the devils are here-William Shakespeare

~Let us not talk of karma, but simply of responsibility toward the whole world

~Crabby people will find reasons to be crabby about the weather, whatever the day is like. It will be too hot or too cold, and if one day is perfect, it will only get worse tomorrow. They complain not because of what the day is like but because of what they are like. By contrast, grateful people are grateful for the weather whatever it may be, remembering that April showers bring May flowers...

~Do things that rewuire creative thinking, add spice to life, read newspapers that aren;t local,play make believe,see the world through rose colored glasses,dance,do something my mom would never do, read about women from different eras,fins a secret getaway,live in the moment,,,gratitude is where religion begins in the human heart..life is a gift

~You have to prepare for the life you want

~May all be free from sorrow and the causes of sorrow..may all never be sperated from the sacred happiness which is sorrowless

~Work hard..play hard..falling in love with me yet feeling like I am trying to save someone who is drowning..

~I will be happy forever, nothing will hinder me, I walk with beauty before me, I walk with beauty behind me,I walk with beauty above me, I walk with beauty around me, my words will be beautiful.

~In the first minutes of the morning: be grateful I am alive..that my body works..that I have food to eat and clothes to wear,,that I have things to do today that will demonstrate my humanity and that I have friends to share the day with..Thank everyone in my life, be humbly grateful there is someone in the world to love me. Live a parallel life in the garden. Grow in knowledge of one another.

~A very special day indeed, never did know the pwer of Linda Rondstat..came at the right time, very unexpected..in any case matters of the heart still rule and boy is my intuition right on. I am secure and happy..I need to work on me again..so strange how as the years go by you sort of morph into these different people..wonderful when you can suprise yourself.

~Givernay (Zhay-vair-nuy) home to Monet and gardens 40 miles outside of Paris..

~I won't taint you with my words anymore, no more just fiction is needed at the expense of you-I am done now moving on and happy- I am at peace.

~When is it that one becomes "Between the Second Act & the Final Curtain"?

~The rules of the world do not apply to me

~As rain penetrates the roof passion overwhelms a confused mind...

All of these snippets of life thrown in with menus for summer BBQ & margarita parties.. what I bought for who on their birthdays..a master list of important dates..what I cooked for Thanksgiving...and then it ends 35 pages in....I am left hanging...I have to smile and chuckle a bit it is almost as if I am reading a bunch of self affirmations off of post its..no matter how silly or mundane it may seem..no matter what it is important to just keep writing it down.

Giverny

Shawn Vidmar 2001-The Gazebo of "Sixteen Going on Seventeen" Made famous in the film The Sound of Music is said to be a haunting place

08/13/2k11

Isaac The Camel at 5 yrs old.. he weighs approx. 1500 lbs likes to sleep in the cool dirt and god bless him walks children around in circles multiple times a day...

Daybook Aug 2k11

Outside My Window:Even though the air is heavy and the humidity has set in due to last nights rain, it was a beautiful morning for a long walk and we enjoyed it at the Fountain Park before the afternoon heat

I Am Thinking Of: How the pace of life has slowed down a bit since I cut my work schedule down to part time and how this has allowed for me to spend more quality time with the ones I love...I am relishing in it.

I Am Thankful For:Having a supportive husband and family and for the ability to embrace living with less and letting things go..inside and out.

From The Kitchen: The meals have been easy and simple these past few weeks. I am taking a hiatus from making recipes every single day and have just been winging it..

I Am Creating: Books of photography for the kids as keepsakes

I Am Going: To the Phoenix Zoo tonight for their afterhours party lots of fun in the water, radio Disney, games, giraffes, camel rides... I registered for my first walk and 5k run the Aids Walk Phoenix

I Am Reading: About Irving Gill..Alexander McQueen and Missoni...so excited for their homewares to hit Target this September...high fashion & design for the masses..just love it..

I Am Hearing: the History channel although I am not paying attention

From The Teaching Rooms: I will soon start my training to become a child advocate with the Superior court system..and school starts back up in 10 days..looking forward to killing 18 credits this semester..

Around The House: My yoga mat waits patiently for me on the floor..it is ready for action but I am not quite there yet

One Of My Favorite Things: Reading to my boys at night..last night we read about rainforests..Africa..and Green Eggs & Ham..all of these books take me back to my childhood and make me feel like a kid again..

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week: A visit to the hair salon.. a couple days of office work...back to school nights..plenty of yoga and down time

Here Are A Few Pictures From The Week To Share

Andy Warhol - Robert Mapplethorpe 1986