I have nothing witty to write this evening; no advice to give. Although the thought of attempting to solve other peoples problems does sound fun, it's not on the agenda tonight. I have been feeling a little overwhelmed this week, a little less spunky and downright cranky at times. It is not like me to get stressed out, so to say..and this is madness..fact is it's beyond the point, my week has felt like one big sigh. I started thinking about why this may be the case, after all I am taking my vitamins..I have everything in the world to be happy about which usually zaps the stress out of things..and I think what it comes down to is I have been fighting off the flu all week. You know the feeling where you aren't full blown sick but rather just have that achy sleepy feeling..the calm before the storm? Where your nose starts to drip and your throat gets a tickle. I have felt little muscles that normally aren't sore making themselves known and have just wanted to spend the day in bed watching Hoarders. I have had to give myself a pep talk into the office every morning where I have brought along Jake, my 4 yr. old...you see he is sick too. The last 2 days have been 9 hrs of me trying to work and entertain Jake at the same time, although he has been rather good given the situation. Can you say burn out...yes I am spent. This evening I came home cooked dinner and next thing I know it was Taekwondo time, once Nicholas was dropped off instead of going home I regrouped and revitalized at the grocery store.
It sounds kind of silly but me alone with a cart and the time to mull over different brands of almond milk and read the ingredients in granola was very meditative. To take ten minutes to decide what brand of coffee would be coming home (Starbucks Breakfast Blend) and to pick everyone out something special..it was just what I needed. Go to the local store in a small town next thing you know your Chatty Cathy. I cannot go anywhere in our town without running into someone I know. Sure enough I ran into no less than 3 people whom I consider to be my friends. We talked about herbs,tires,Zambuca,parties, jazz and pizza. I felt like I just had social hour. I walked out of the store feeling like I had just drank a big glass of rescue remedy and it proved to be the perfect fix..who knew. I started to think about the days when I used to go to happy hour and "relax" with a few cocktails after work wherein social hour would consist of conversations at the bar with half cocked people. I don't miss those days. Happy hour is a sham. Nobody was ever that "happy" and most of the time they were complaining.Today I ate 1 apple, 1 pear, 1/2 a granola bar, a few bites of seafood salad, 2 wheat crackers w/ artichoke hummus,little bites of bananas berries apples & melon that Nicholas sliced up...oh and a handful of ummmm Combos...you know the little rolled pretzel things with some kind of weird creamy stuff inside that tastes like pizza? It's not cheese..although it slightly resembles the stuff in a spray can..I shudder to think... There has been coffee, green tea, and water thrown in the mix... the point of all this rambling is that I am trying to divert myself from my homework where I am studying Japanese work ethics, which make ours in America joke worthy. But also because I learned a valuable lesson today..one that I need to be reminded of from time to time. It is okay to feel like you just wanna pull the covers up over your head some days ..it is okay to feel like your energy has all but drained out.. the kids will get on your nerves..you will get on your nerves..your husband won't quite get it..the littlest criticism seems like someone just dealt you a huge blow.. that's when you know it's time to take a break..call a time out..we need that once in a while. Sometimes I forget that I have needs too.. today I am glad I paid attention.
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