Hold on Wait a Minute

Play Me

What has happened here...my god...these are supposed to be the best years of my life..I am supposed to be hanging out with a husband and have like 15 yrs of marriage behind my belt..we should be cruising around languid with other couples..taking couple trips..hanging out at each others pools..I should have the dynamics of our bedroom rituals and anniversaries all figured out by now..I should be cooking for large crowds of people..entertaining and making small talk with adults while the kids are tucked in bed at night ...I should have bank accounts (plural) and know that when I put something away that it will stay there  because it is my home and will be there 20 yrs from now.. Wow! how did this happen in these best years I sit alone at night watching Adult Swim, eating goldfish crackers, switching off from my Crystal Light & on sale red wine? How is it that I share my bed with a 4 yr old.. have the messiest hair in the morning and just don't care..how did this happen? it is madness ... I am the ex wife... sheesh..the one who likes to drink one too many and blurt out things when I shouldn't... who has decided it is best I stay indoors most of the time.... who has yet to embrace her single status & become the it girl...who's nailpolish is chipped most of the time...who probably will be moving once her lease is up..who acts a little reckless because this is the first time in 18 yrs I have had to go it alone...who shudders to think I cannot even relate anymore to the fantasy they call marriage..who has a slew of suitors that epitomize "The Wrong Guy"...How on earth? I feel like I am on the Other Side looking in... it is anything goes and who knows what will happen next...I am going to flip on Nancy Grace...maybe watch Wonder Boys again and attempt to figure it all out...Or maybe I will save that thought for someday:)

Hangin Out at The Mall.....

The birdcages at Christown Mall circa 1960

There is nothing I found more entertaining at the age of 12 besides making the 20 min walk up to Paradise Valley Mall for an afternoon of soaking up cold A/C, sneaking into R rated movies, hanging out at the arcade, boy watching, window shopping,eating Pizza D Amore, driving security guards crazy..eating Pizza De Amore. As I got older the mall was THE PLACE  to go for lunch during high school... to go on a Friday night ..to go with your mother in search of a prom dress or to blow your birthday money.. Call me crazy but I have long been fascinated by Malls but mainly now because they have, in large part, become a thing of the past. A piece of nostalgia came my way yesterday while on Facebook I came across the site dedicated to the long gone Los Arcos Mall in Scottsdale,AZ. Although I did not grow up around the area, our business thrives right down the street and when it was torn down I couldn't help but think what a shame.. after all with strip malls aplenty many malls are occupying a huge chunk of land. Many stores do not renew their lease and stay vacant with the tenants not being able to afford the renewal. Anyone remember The Scottsdale Galleria disaster perfect example.... Back in the day my favorite stores for clothes were Foxmoor...Judys...Contempo Casuals ( except they had this strange dressing room with no doors & a huge mirror that everyone just changed in front of one another in) I liked The Hobby Bench and oogled over doll house furniture..Spencers gifts was always good for lots of giggles over the adult novelty items, the edible underpants in particular ( I have yet to buy a pair and see what the hype was all about) Frisco Deli had french fries just like the state fair did.. Kellys was a coffee house way before it's time serving up fancy lattes and big cookies..Diamonds had a fancy restaurant up above it that overlooked the mall I had always fantasized about what it might be like to eat up there..ladies in fancy dresses eating things like finger sandwiches and pastel mints. and of course the pet store. In my late teens the mall was home to no less than 4 jobs for me...folding sweaters at my beloved Foxmoor..working at the uber chic Limited store..Japanese takout place..& Surf City Squeeze which was really no fun at all. I actually took my first college classes at the college upstairs Rio Salado. Befriended a few Mall Cops who became best buds and reveled with laughter in their day to day stories..... I don't get out to the mall very often anymore, once in a blue moon you may find me there on a Black Friday with all the other loonies but I am not and haven't been living near one for quite some time. Paradise Valley Mall got a facelift a few years back with that came the teardown of Dennys, one of my first jobs waiting tables, in the bar (yes a full bar in Dennys) which was always packed at 6 am... as well as Swensens ice cream parlor ( the after the dance speech debate place). I wish I had taken more pictures back in the day.. I love that my 14 yr old has followed in my footsteps and likes to spend the day at the mall with his buddies cruising The Apple Store, going to movies, and eating Panda Express. I am glad I am not the only one with this sort of obsession as seen in these sites I came across, I love the old photos..especially of Town & Country Mall (Jutenhoops) & The ever popular Metro Center...Even back in Nebraska it was Crossroads (Bishops) & Westroads...You wouldn't want to step foot in Crossroads nowadays, it is pretty rundown but these memories forever have a place in my early life and if they do in yours too here are some places worth a look...They don't even require your coolest outfit to hang out in for an afternoon in Cyberland... I can almost smell the Pizza now...

Malls of AmericaVintage photos of lost Shopping Malls of the '50s, '60s & '70s ...This guy really loves Malls as showcased through hundreds if not thousands of the neatest pics, stats & postcards ever!
Dead Malls This site also lists dead merchandise & dead stores awesome!
Discount Stores of The 60's Need I Say More??
Christown Mall A Retrospective Very neat & nostalgic I love this site!

July is....

Hot & Humid.... with fireworks lighting up the sky.. the grill working overtime...the A/C on full blast...the car always dirty from a little muddy monsoon storm..harvest moons...movies...blues music... bikes that need fixing... sweets...roadtrips...regrets...feeling alive...happy smiles...Iced Coffee with Milk...lots of looking around...lots of love...& milkshakes that seem to make everything just a little sweeter.....Some of my favorite combos..
Coffee & Pinapple
Chocolate Malts
Blueberry Malts
Chocolate Peanut Butter Banana
French Vanilla with fresh berries
French Vanilla & frozen orange juice
Vanilla with real cherry cheesecake
Vanilla with Rum Soaked Black Cherries
looking for an industrial milkshake maker now...

A Gentle Life.....

(When the kisses are hers and hers and his Threes Company Tooooo...Only The Die Hards Like Myself Will Get This;)

Lately I have been putting some thought into what it means to live gently... to create an existence where one listens more and to speak less, to rely less and less on material things that are mass produced, to entertain through sparking creativity in ways some may deem to be mundane... To treat the body and soul with great care...create magic all around you... become aware of yourself and your surroundings like never before...acknowledge what isn't working..step back and make room for great things to happen. To be who you are, be calm, be wise, smell the roses, put the time in to love, heal, touch and care. In this all things are possible and the world becomes beautiful. A gentle heart is a kind heart.. and once you realize this there really is no turning back..

What I have been up to in May....

I watched my big guy, my oldest son graduate 8th grade & was so very proud, he looked so handsome in his new suit! I bought an RC car for him, I can't believe he will be in high school next year wow! I also got a new hairstyle:)

We have been spending lazy Summer afternoons aplenty! Took the boys to their first baseball game!



And I spent some time and fell in love with this place So begins a long love afair that I know will last for the rest of my life with The Salton Sea..............




I also spent a long weekend to the tune of 6 days in Palm Springs, one of my favorite places to be! Lounging on patios,soaking up sunshine, dancing, massages, breakfast in bed,long walks, cocktails and a much needed break from the norm. We have spent the month working hard, playing hard, and resting in between.

My Status Report May

Making : Enlargements of Huge Black & Whites to line 2 stories of empty wall space including Salton Sea Photo's and Ocean Pics




Cooking :Quesadillas, Italian Food of course, Steaks and the best brunches ever



Drinking : Lots of Green Tea



Reading: Poems



Wanting: Lots of down time sounds perfect



Looking: To replace my furniture and do eveything in white...and get to California sometime soon because I can't stay away!



Playing: Star Wars & video games with the boys



Wasting: Money on my Starbucks addiction:)



Sewing: Nothing belt still broken on my machine:(



Wishing: That I can get my telescope cleaned and put back together by the weekend



Enjoying: restful sleep and hugs and kisses from my boys



Waiting: For a three day weekend!



Liking: Meeting new people who are interesting



Wondering: When I can go shopping at H&M again sans kiddos



Loving: My 3 boys & family



Hoping: To be swept off my feet:)



Marvelling: That I am 36 yrs old I really really don't feel like I am hmmmm



Needing: more down time in Palm Springs



Smelling: home cooked meals



Wearing: Spring dress and cardigan for H&M where else



Following: Blogs of course



Noticing: How beautiful the sky looks from my observation deck and thinking God I have to fix that telescope!



Knowing: The problems will always be there, it is how you react and deal with them that matters.



Thinking: Of someone special



Bookmarking: Poems



Opening: Old magazines for a re-read



Giggling: Over dirty jokes



Feeling: Sleepy like lazy Summer days

The End of May 2010

Has found me & it has been a little while since my last posting but I have been living life and documenting less of it. I have been hugging my children, making meals, going to work,watching TV, drinking coffee, listening to music and doing some things I probably shouldn't be. I would rather be completely ridiculous than boring!I am obsessed with the Salton Sea and it really has been eating up my blogging time and I have started a documentery I now must finish:) But I need to make time for putting into words these days of my life. While uncanny and abnormal what a joy each and every day to raise these boys and make them happy:) I have so much to write about Palm Springs The Sea San Diego and other pieces of inspiration I am working on but tonight I am in a somber mood due to the passing of Ben Ricketts, a little guy but 22 months old that passed away accidentaly. After lots of prayers this little man brought so many people closer to Christ. May he be in gods hands. I have a heavy heart tonight so I'm not going to write much more other than I will be holding my boys a little tighter and giving them a special treat in honor of this man. May god bless his soul.



I cannot live with you,


by Emily Dickinson



I cannot live with you,

It would be life,

And life is over there

Behind the shelf



The sexton keeps the key to,

Putting up

Our life, his porcelain,

Like a cup



Discarded of the housewife,

Quaint or broken;

A newer Sevres pleases,

Old ones crack.



I could not die with you,

For one must wait

To shut the other's gaze down,--

You could not.



And I, could I stand by

And see you freeze,

Without my right of frost,

Death's privilege?



Nor could I rise with you,

Because your face

Would put out Jesus'.

That new grace



Glow plain and foreign

On my homesick eye,

Except that you, than he

Shone closer by.



They'd judge us--how?

For you served Heaven, you know

Or sought to;

I could not,



Because you saturated sight,

And I had no more eyes

For sordid excellence

As Paradise.



And were you lost, I would be,

Though my name

Rang loudest

On the heavenly fame.



And were you saved,

And I condemned to be

Where you were not,

That self were hell to me.



So we must keep apart,

You there, I here,

With just the door ajar

That oceans are,

And prayer,

And that pale svustenance,

Despair!